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tv   Gutfeld  FOX News  March 28, 2024 7:00pm-8:00pm PDT

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[ ♪♪ ] >> jeanine: we'll come back to the special edition of hannity but unfortunately that's all the time that we have for this evening, don't forget to check out my new special on fox nation the menendez monitors monsters misunderstood streaming now it is great i will be back on the five tomorrow at 5:00 pm eastern and we hope you tune in, my friend greg gutfeld is on next have a great night and thank you for watching
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>> greg: happy thursday everyone earlier today barack obama joined president biden for a fundraiser at radio city music hall also at the event bill clinton and approximately 20 terrified rock cats. a lot of dresses. according to research cinnamon maybe helpful in curing boldness , and already sent a bond has been besieged by calls from one man, it's true, you didn't know that? today is a fox anchor todd pyro's birthday otherwise known as national caucasian day,
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researchers have discovered that perm -- sperm whales can defend, tax from or because by spring diarrhea and their faces, the same reason that i eat burritos before writing the subway. you should see my aim. southwest airlines will begin offering the first redeye overnight flight in history, spirit will also offer redeye flights, just ask for water and they will hit you with tear gas. a math teacher in texas legally changed his name to literally anybody else to get right in votes for president. meanwhile joe biden is thinking of changing his name to donald trump or max qatar airways has introduced the world's first aia flight attendants. in the event of a loss of cabin pressure it doesn't give up [ bleep ] illegal immigrant
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children overcrowding new york city schools and teachers are furious conditions are so jampacked that none of these students are in the mood for sex. i felt the same way. the intel community being warned that the community blacklisted is racist, if only there was a way to find the term who made that and make sure he never works again. thank you for laughing, i had my worries. earlier today former ftx ceo sam bateman freed was sentenced to 25 years in prison, really, which means he will finally get his wish of being publicly traded. let's do a monologue, are we
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coming apart at the seams because of democrat regimes when important stuff gets neglected it falls apart as expected escaping the failed city of baltimore got a bit harder this week after a freighter prout -- ploughed into the francis scott key bridge and as far as metaphors go that's more on the nose than the hunter biden powder snobs we are piecing together what happened but already activists sprung into action a writer at one website says once it is rebuilt the bridge should be renamed after a prominent african-american instead of the white guy who wrote the star-spangled banner but once owned slaves they could replace it with p. diddy he also wrote songs and also owned slaves. so with president biden pledging taxpayer money to rebuild it
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everyone will be on the hook for the privilege of erasing francis scott key and with that kind of focus on useless virtue signalling it's no surprise that things are falling apart right in front of us. [ ♪♪ ] ♪ money to fix it and still call you racist and the structures left abandoned don't expect no help from brandon every thing is falling apart ♪ >> greg: lately it feels like everything is coming apart at the sayings and not just if you are joy behar's mumu there
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aren't even seams on that but think about it, cities, borders, planes, trains, automobiles, bridges, ships, the justice system the economy biology education housing our aging politicians meanwhile we used to have trains that stayed on tracks and doors that stayed on planes crooks that stayed in jail squatters who stayed out of homes perverts that stayed out of schools lawmakers who didn't inject embryonic fluid to get through the day but that is what happens when the people in charge focus on identity politics, foreign wars, social media and women with boners granted that's a technical phrase some of the stuff on this list obviously is not all on biden but it does feel like this is what happens with chronic neglect we see that phenomenon this week with the literal collapse of the bridge it wasn't the first time that ship crashed into something in belgium then
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colliding with a container terminal luckily no one injured or killed that time this time not so lucky things more likely to go wrong when all of the other systems are failing they are failing because of neglect as all our attention is paid to other things the only thing that seems to be working just fine is our smart phones isn't it hilarious that the things that are bad for our children are also made by children circle of life but when activists in the media enabled them jump to talking about renaming the bridge is another sign of how unserious we are as a society the shortest distance between two points is a fatal accident and an accusation of racism but don't worry mayor pete is on the case he hasn't blamed this on racism yet we give him time. >> if a highway was built for the purpose of dividing the white and black neighbourhoods for if an underpass was
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constructed such that a bus carrying most leave black kids to a beach in new york it was designed to pass by but that obviously reflects racism pointing in those design choices >> greg: fine okay but people like pete can focus on the past because they are far removed from the real present world. meanwhile the rest of us have to live in the system he neglects a theory by one scientist sheds light on why stuff like this keeps happening he compares it to an army of ants caught in an anthill who are whole societies trapped in a death spiral of vicious michael of self reinforcing dysfunctional behaviour marked by a continuous flawed decision-making single-minded focus on one set of solutions denial distrust mike glow management dogmatic thinking and learned helplessness that is a lot of big words but they render a very
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simple explanation we took our eye off the ball, our ancestors built an amazing system built on reciprocity where we get overcome our differences and focus on a mutually beneficial collaboration some call that capitalism minis call it imperfect but despite its flaws it's the greatest system this world has seen mainly because it got rid of conflicts over lineage in favour of trade and commerce we build cities and towns and bridges pretty fast some people got more than others but if everyone was equal which is impossible there would be no incentive to collaborate at all we expect to get paid for doing nothing which is how a lot of our systems appear today the goal of course equal opportunity were trying hard to get there about this success may be offspring of our ancestors boarding complacent and armed with that idea turned out by misery conveyor belts known as college they decided that what is far more important to improve
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things like work was the trendy crap we tear them apart identity politics awoke is on the internal state of oppression it is fun to be outraged and it is easy when you don't have to get your hands dirty but when you don't deal with concrete problems you get concrete problems in the foundation starts to crumble focus only on the window dressing and not the smashed window and what do you expect it is ironic when you think about it only after those windows are gone are we able to see things clearly. it is certainly not a view worth bragging about. [ inaudible ] >> greg: you can't stop this steel post of the sage steel show sage steel his jokes are so raw they will give you salmonella, award-winning comedian kurt metzger her
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favourite mode of travel is the wind, new york times best-selling author and fox news contributor cat and when he walks the runway it is at laguardia the new york times best-selling author comedian and former world champion tyrus welcome to the show it's a pleasure to have you here congratulations on your new podcast i am sure it will be wonderful in my crazy to think that the world is falling apart and should we blame biden? >> if you are crazy then i am crazy to am i right? listen i don't want to be right on this but it's just reality at this point and maybe it's an age thing as well i have been around too long and you see how it used to be you look i have two kids in college right now my mom called me and said hold on tight this might be the end you look at all of the things that are
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happening and the why behind them to me it's not just coincidence there are darkness and evil. >> greg: weird stuff. >> i don't like to but that's where we are. >> greg: i built a panic room inside my panic room. and inside that one oatmeal i know i don't know why either. >> i hate that. >> greg: do you feel as crazy or uneasy about the future. >> just to give you contact i just did rogan and then alex jones and then this so yes you don't tell bill that stuff did you? he's not aware i don't know if you've seen his new rules but everything is fine what are you talking about he hasn't heard the news don't tell him. >> i'm bigger then he is a can take it.
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>> he has little trump hands he doesn't like them because they have the same hands. >> greg: i think i could take him where the same size. >> he was interviewing robert de niro i can't even blame the nero because you're going to ask de niro a guy who sounds like the guy from being there talking about the garden tried to talk about politics. >> greg: that movie does not stand up. >> these people don't know who peter sellars is. >> greg: already talking the audience is it because of the ball joe? >> it was, that's all i was thinking about here what i call a million hair, your privileged. >> greg: i'm doing alright, look at this, it's great, and this is real unlike jesse, do you think it is the priorities that lead us to this dark place.
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>> well congratulations on your hair or whatever. >> greg: thank you. >> also something that was brought all is he placed it on overreaction in terms of policy in response to crisis which was the whole covid thing especially and a lot of the centralization of power and that to me is something that i seem to think about more than a lot of other people do which is we focus so much on which specific people are going to be in power and in my view not enough on how much power those people have because, thank you, we wouldn't it wouldn't it wouldn't matter as much who was in power if they didn't have so much of it it's so centralized there is basically a handful of people that are making so many decisions for all of us and it was not supposed to be like that it shouldn't be like that.
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>> okay but what if we gave all of the rest of our money to ukraine? do you think that slot machine will pay out? >> greg: what do you think tyrus, is the world or the united states falling apart. >> no i think it's great i love it. >> because you're a giant man. >> my entire life i have always weighed consequences to actions so if someone is saying something annoying or that i don't like i reach over and i know there's a good chance of going to get arrested or lose my career or go to jail but not in this new world i can do that and be out in an hour and still be in time for work and then go back and do it again. >> there's a reason for that. >> it's because it's change we need to understand that while we are flipping out they are not and all you need to know was it
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two weeks ago or three weeks ago he had a press conference and the point of the press conference was to correct himself and instead of saying illegal alien he said newcomer that is all you need to know? which means you have to understand everyone in here i don't know a chicken or have been around a chicken but you're all an egg now and if they crack a few eggs to get where they need to go they are fine with it because the only eggs that are complaining or the correct conservative ones and they don't care. >> so biden is fine with what's going on he so fine with what going on he's at a fundraiser with obama and bill and liz oh cell under investigation for doing horrible thanks to workers but doesn't matter because she's on the left team if i'm thinking about getting traded you can do whatever the hell you want and the only way you can fix this is you have to vote so all i hope for is the independence and
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women finally get tired of getting treated and do something about it you have law & order, opportunity to get things back straight or four more years of just running around doing whatever you want. >> greg: we must move on protest attacks because she forgot to impacts
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>> greg: i love this one hour video the day comes to us from a pro- palestinian protest at vanderbilt university where a student called 911 because she
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was very worried about a fellow protesters tampon, roll it helga >> there is currently a female student who is being denied the right to change her tampon that has been in for multiple hours which leads to an increase risk of toxic shock syndrome. >> i'm a female i understand. >> you should understand what you're not hearing is if she stands up to use the restaurant restroom they are threatening arrest is not an option for her. >> do you have an emergency. >> yes, i do. >> that's an emergency. >> no do you have an emergency not your friend inside, to you have emergency. >> that is my emergency. >> i don't remember the time that i needed to have a emergency personally to call 911 for help. >> what. >> i don't member when i had to be a personal emergency for me to call 911 for help, i'm requesting assistance, medical urgent assistance.
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>> the people who want to defund the police calling the police over tampon this is not the first time that protesters made a stink of time then products, usually they all the fight douchebag's but she chooses to waste to the city resources and call 911 over a tampon she should have called me, i know people i could have called some strings. >> nothing as good as that in ten years. >> think about the because she's supporting this started because israel's response to october thn were raped by hamas why would a profile thing in protest or want a tampon if there's one thing they don't seem to mind it's the site of blood i went dark didn't
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i? anyway they should get expelled and charged with criminal trespassing and find of making a false emergency report, 911 is for real emergencies like when my wife demands that i rub her feet i have to go to a woman first because it's only right,. >> i knew you would come to me first. >> i don't know what that is. >> apparently the tampon holder is not black, okay thank you because you know he would have went to me. >> i'm just waiting to see what question you will ask. >> i love the 911 operator's response was perfect what say you? >> she was doing her best i think she had to wait for this to become viral news for her to have any idea what was going on in the situation i don't know i still don't fully understand it
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i was before scared about removing a tampon when i was like 12 or 13 and i was at my aunts like house but never did i think i should call the police. >> greg: she was afraid to. >> i was an actual child, it's just you and you in here and we have to figure this out and i knew that was on me, and i did it, thank you. >> greg: the more you know, keith where's keith. >> oberman. >> keith olbermann. >> greg: [ inaudible ] >> greg: she thought she was afraid she would not get back to her seat, was at the whole
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reason? she called the police for a friend because they were afraid if she went to change her tampon she would not be able to get back. >> i didn't even pick up that part i thought the girl that needed the operation, i didn't realize a friend was calling for her, full disclosure one time when i was like 35 i called 911 when i lived in washington heights because i drank a five hour energy extra strength and smoked weed but. >> greg: i get that. >> but i understand these are college kids when someone is screaming about this on the phone, i'm a doctor if this was ten years ago they would have made a whole college romp about that. >> greg: this is why if i were choking on something embarrassing i wouldn't call 911 >> like what? >> greg: i would just choke,
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use your imagination. >> a big can of christmas notes, is choking on walnuts. >> yummy. >> such a beautiful country that you can call your friend when you're having a problem and trying to ruin the life of the speaker but need to change my tampon i don't want to lose my seat can you call my mom want to get a police officer to run down with what is this [ bleep ] nascar? >> greg: woman who are brutally murdered and this woman is downplaying that buy calling the police for a tampon. >> i will say that 911 responder was great. >> greg: she was great. >> so good she said is there an actual emergency and i would have crossed that kid out and i
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thought vanderbilt university this is higher education, $61,000 per year for tuition that's what you're paying for. >> i will say this there have been emergencies like walking through holes in high school and i can't go to class i need to stop by the restroom this is an emergency in your best friend comes with you and has one in her purse or backpack but i don't know i have never called 911 in my life. >> greg: this is into want to be a millionaire. >> i like that if she didn't do something soon she was going to have an infection like know the infection is already there man. >> greg: you must move on before we all lose our jobs the greatest topic of her up next should stores get fined for not
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keeping bombs in mind.
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but with skyrizi to treat my skin and joints, count me in. along with clearer skin, skyrizi helps me move with less joint pain, stiffness, swelling, and fatigue. and is just 4 doses a year, after 2 starter doses. serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine, or plan to. there's nothing like clearer skin and better movement. and that means everything! ask your doctor about skyrizi today. learn how abbvie could help you save. >> greg: let me explain this story to you. >> go ahead. >> greg: san francisco ordering businesses that install large medal planters that are there to deter homeless encampments to either remove them within 30 days or be fined because homeless advocates call these planters hostile architecture.
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as opposed to say the homeless that are there shooting up and taking a [ bleep ] on your door >> like the bombs were you can't lay on the bench? >> but just planters. >> let me use the wisdom of solomon to say you're both wrong, planters, no, toilets, that's not hospital he should have put them a long time ago. it will probably help grow something because there's can be human sized logs and those planters. this is the best thing it's ever happened to the homeless there. >> greg: is not fared the city will find a business for doing what the job that the city itself won't do. >> they're giving you 30 days to correct okay? that's plenty of time to move to beautiful wisconsin. >> greg: true. >> texas lovely this time of year, if they are literally telling you because here's the deal yes the [ bleep ] in your
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house and your stores and sleeping it's terrible but so is robbing and attacking women when they come in and going after children i think that's maybe a bit more were just the fact that because they are sleeping in front of buildings they are happy where they are which gives them an excuse to not make changes because they have a right to sleep in front of your store that you pay taxes on and no one will comment if you deny them service then you are some form of phobic so i think that happens to you you have 30 days to move and there's a ton of states that's why it's cool they welcome you they put planters and from your store. >> but they mask their. >> only if you play sports our work in the coal mine. >> greg: this is a humane way to keep the home is, people they are not using a power hose.
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>> they should. >> greg: you can say that i can't. >> i was there every year for like five or six years for a couple almost total of a month every summer because when the golden state warriors were in the finals every year the change that city has gone through in just a couple of years is heartbreaking because san francisco was incredible i do find it interesting if you remember a month it took them a week to clean up the city when the president of china came in that happened very fast. >> he can come over every weekend. >> invite him back, these business owners honestly my heart breaks for them because just because they live in san francisco doesn't mean they're crazy, i mean kind of if you want to pay those taxes and live in that environment i guess but they're very rich and evil because they are rich right? >> it's so sad to me they are trying desperately to keep their business open and i don't blame them for quitting or trying with the planters i think it's
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creative, points for creativity. >> cat are you pro- or anti- planter. >> i think the anti- planter argument falls apart pretty quickly because the whole thing is they are saying there is this makes things difficult for pedestrians and the disabled community to get to the store and you know what else does that a homeless encampment in front of the store far be it from me to speak on behalf of the wheelchair community but i'm just saying if i was all part i'm guessing that if i was in a wheelchair i would prefer, if i had to choose, the obstacles that won't jump out and attack me to wheel around. >> well i'm trans able to slay appreciate you. >> i see you. >> a real thing. >> used on those paralyzed feet going on? >> yes. >> he's able to walk for short periods because it's just his
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feet that are paralyzed. >> they won't take my feet off. >> greg: i have no idea what either of you are talking about which is why we will move on, up next stripper rights reaching new heights
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>> greg: we helped reach a goal for girls working the pole, there are better working conditions for dancers in awkward positions, last month i brought much-needed attention to strippers that demanded legislation to get them greater workplace protections in washington state, rolled the flashback. >> greg: they just want protections while giving men erections they costly sais sexual-harassment and that's on the clock and how they want to
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do something about the proposed legislation includes requirements for security guards mandatory training on printing harassment and procedures for violence can assurance they will never have to give a lap dance to jerry nadler. >> greg: great news, washington's governor signed that bill into law giving strippers the most protections in any state that is what i call a happy ending which means gutfeld gets results but it's like the activists say sex work is real work and i agree except i usually say it to my landscapers. the law will prevent sexual-harassment identify and report human trafficking and gives extra security guards you can sexually harass a stripper place. >> you don't know what they're called. >> i know why you went to me and i'm past you get one stripper
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pregnant on day shift and now i'm the official leading guy and i'm tired of it i'm absolutely tired of it okay and if these laws weren't in place i would save a lot of money on child support, i don't know, it was many years ago i have reformed i went to the church i found the lord i'm good now. that was a complete lie was the question? you can't sexually harass a stripper. she's naked and you are like wow she's hot or dang look at that, excuse me i'm sorry excuse me i don't think. >> greg: i hate strip clubs in the way they objectify women.
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>> the stage seems like this he can't see. >> greg: you want to respond. >> i think it was sexual harassment like from the people who work there, so basically you can't do it for free. >> greg: if you think about the fact you have to go in there and dance and if you have a creepy manager or bartender that is creeping on you and when i used to stripper for chippendale's there was this guy , anyway. >> the things they're asking for our like security, i think they should have that. >> greg: i really want the stripping career to be a long and comfortable one. >> it took four years at university to get to that he was a rear career goal and they achieved it we have to give them credit we talk about orifices a lot today something i was not warned about i was singing about
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this earlier are there hr departments at strip clubs? how do you manage that. >> greg: if there's a big chain of strip clubs i wouldn't know, spearmint rhino. >> spearman rhino, penthouse. >> it got quiet. >> have they gone far enough or not far enough? >> i was engaged to a stripper many years ago and first of all this is to drive a ridge between strippers and strip g. -- djs secondly don't near overlooking this washington state places with hot strippers don't have this kind of thing these are washington state strippers that's when you start getting the ideas about how union for thing that's not a union thing, that's what this is and also it
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failed but i thought they had that here maybe it was like a strip club in williamsburg or maybe on the estates they would say it's not a strip club if the coffeehouse and couples go people told me this like it was a better and classier and i said it's a place where the girls don't [ bleep ] that's a terrible club it's like you're trying to take the dirtiness. >> it's supposed to be dirty. >> because they have that stupid stuff there they all make money and it devolves into some small shopper they want a union. >> it makes sense it's washington state if you're not stripping you're working at starbucks it's one of the other. >> i would rather strip. >> they're going to have erotic book club meetings and said they will start selling soap i don't know what that means either sometimes i get confused up your
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up next, is there an art to telling involvement apart
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we're moving forward with indycar. because we're moving forward with everybody. ♪♪ shell. powering progress. here's why you should switch fo to duckduckgo on all your devie duckduckgo comes with a built-n engine like google, but it's pi and doesn't spy on your searchs and duckduckgo lets you browse like chrome, but it blocks cooi and creepy ads that follow youa from google and other companie. and there's no catch. it's fre. we make money from ads, but they don't follow you aroud join the millions of people taking back their privacy by downloading duckduckgo on all your devices today. >> it's time for the question of the day. >> greg: our question of the day do bald people all look
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alike yes, our guest how we bury i mean sage steel. >> i wish. >> greg: she prompted me to ask this question after our meeting with dana white on his podcast. >> what is joe rogan's dream. >> joe rogan's dream. >> dana wait what's dental white stream. >> you thought i was joe rogan? >> i did. >> she just called me joe rogan did you think i was joe rogan? hi was bald before joe was ever bald i just did a two hour podcast i flew here from vegas and you thought you were interviewing joe rogan all walk out. >> that's the best. >> did you say high to me because i thought it was with him? >> they don't have all of the
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facial hair beauty that i do people are going to call me jada pinkett smith when i go out. >> greg: that was funny. >> don't talk about my wife. >> greg: i have to defend you that one you could have edited that out and you didn't and also i have done this so many times. >> you did today. >> greg: i called you keith i do this all the time. >> how do i resemble that? >> i don't know we were talking about keith olbermann and they got stuck in my head you are probably talking about rogan. >> because they work together and because when the show began at the beginning he came in bringing a drink and he said it's joe rogan's drink that happened one hour and 20 manson to the podcast. >> also they do look alike. >> they do and i have three kids i have had three kids the youngest on most 18 hi call them different names all the time was
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the timing good? no, however he flew in from vegas just to do my show and then flew back, but, yes, i could have edited out and i kept it in because i'm an idiot why not? yet to make fun of yourself. >> i just watched dana white walk out on how he mandel saying hello to him he said i'm not doing his podcast and listen yes, he flew in but he wasn't on southwest he flew in his private jet and landed and kept it running had his car service taken probably carried by a team of men so that his feet wouldn't touch the ground but look it's okay you could have fired back you look alike every time i see one of you a little baldheaded eugenics taking testosterone boosting why guys you all look the same you have no neck he got pink redskin you drink coffee and a big help and you're always
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saying you're not racist. >> greg: this does right -- raise a point it's like if you mistake a black person for another black person that's racist but doesn't this so that as humans are brains are group similar things together? that is how we survive. >> it shows that these two dudes looked similar, that's it, it's not that deep and also really truly props to you for leaving that in greg does not do that when he makes a mistake. >> greg: that's not true. >> that can be cut out of the show. >> greg: i'm going to leave that in because it's not true at least she finds it funny okay don't go away we will be right back
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join the millions of people taking back their privacy by downloading duckduckgo on all your devices today. >> we are out of time period thanks to... i love you america. good evening. it's 11:00 pm on the east coast, 8:00 here in los angeles and this is america's late news, fox news at night breaking tonight, former president trump in new york to mourn and slam the killing of a call presidt

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