the 11th annual east bay innovation awards happened in downtown oakland tonight. the east bay economic development alliance hosted this event, celebrates the companies and organizations that contribute to the east bay's legacy of innovation. tonight, ten winners were recognized in categories ranging from manufacturing, art, and community impact. and gia emceed this year's event. >> awesome. >> yeah. >> great. thank you very much for joining us. >> rain. >> get your raincoat. maybe not the umbrella. >> and tomorrow afternoon's

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- zoe saldana, neal brennan, musical guest, max, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 1950! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on.

that's what i'm talking about. enjoy yourself. enjoy yourself, everyone. welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." you're here. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for watching at home. well, guys it's almost easter. and -- [ cheers ] yeah. and today the first lady announced that the theme of this year's white house easter egg roll will be "eggucation." [ laughter and ohs ] egg -- egg-ucation. [ laughter ] already off to a great start, i think. [ laughter ] actually, it was between eggucation and panicking about the egglection. [ laughter and applause ] so, they went with eggucation. but it should be fun. all day long kids will have the option of searching for eggs or president biden after he wanders off. [ laughter ] "i found him, i found him, i found him." well, get this, first lady jill biden is publishing a a children's book about the white house cat called "willow the white house cat."

yeah, it's cute. it's expected to be pretty different from the book about the bidens' dog, commander. [ light laughter ] i'll show you what i mean. for instance, willow's book says, "i live at the white house, but i'm just a a cat. can you believe it? what do you think about that?" [ light laughter ] and commander's book says, "i live at the white house, i play in the yard. i just bit the arm off a a security guard." [ laughter and applause ] next -- >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: -- willow's book says, "i watch as the president delivers an address. then i play with my yarn, but don't make a mess." commander's book says, "i watch as the president leads the whole nation. then dry hump the secretary of education." [ ohs and laughter ] ♪ i mean, this is -- >> steve: what? what? >> jimmy: i couldn't believe it. >> steve: they put this book out? >> jimmy: well -- yeah, finally. willow's book says, "i love washington, it's so historical. even though commander just relieved himself on the lincoln memorial." >> steve: oh. [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: and you go -- "this is disrespectful." that is -- that shouldn't be released. [ applause ] well, switching gears, some big news from overseas -- germany is legalizing marijuana. [ cheers and applause ] in a related story, flights from berlin to amsterdam are down 3,000%. [ laughter ] yep, now everyone on the autobahn is driving four miles per hour. [ light laughter ] well, a lot of people are talking about this -- in new york city today sam bankman-fried was sentenced to 25 years in prison for his role in the collapse of his crypto company, ftx. it's even worse news for his cellmate, he's stuck for 25 years with a guy who loves talking about crypto. [ laughter ] "it's protected by a block chain, and they'll never get in the block chain because --" [ light laughter ] "can you give me a shiv? not -- it's for me." "it's safer than you think." [ light laughter ] guys, new york just became the first u.s. city to approve congestion pricing. [ booing ] which means cars that drive

into midtown manhattan will have to pay an extra $15. a $15 toll. and that's not all, the city announced some other new tolls too. check these out. you'll have to pay $15 if you -- make eye contact with someone on the subway for more than three seconds. [ laughter and applause ] they'll also charge you $15 if you -- say "this is just like 'sex and the city' when all you're doing is eating brunch." [ laughter ] no, no, it's not. barely. we're just eating. yeah, and finally it's $15 if you -- block the whole sidewalk 'cause you're a family of tourists linking arms like the rockettes. [ laughter and applause ] "come on." this is exciting -- tonight, at midnight, beyonce's long-awaited album, "cowboy carter," is being released. [ cheers and applause ] massive. the album is gonna be huge. right now, god is like, "should we move easter back a week so there's no conflict?" [ laughter ] well, listen to this,

everybody, that burger king is celebrating next month's solar eclipse by giving out free whoppers. [ scattered cheers and applause ] they're even giving out special glasses so you can stare directly at the meat. [ laughter ] what? byoo! guys, today was the opening day for major league baseball. oh, man. [ cheers and applause ] i love it. i love it. the knock on baseball is that it can be sometimes boring. and you can tell that the fans want some changes based on the new version of "take me out to the ball game" i heard. they were singing it today. listen to this. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: i thought that was interesting. and finally, according to the cdc, sexually transmitted diseases are becoming more common among older adults. [ audience ohs ] it's even worse the next morning when you gotta do the walker of shame. [ laughter ] yeah, we got a great show. give it up for the roots. come on now. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: oh! we have a great show for you tonight. she is a talented actor who stars in and produces the new movie, "the absence of eden," which is in theaters april 12th. zoe saldana is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] she's massive. i love her.

he is a very funny comedian. gosh, we've known neal for a a long time. yeah, probably -- yeah, a long time. he's an old pal, but he's crushing it. and he's a great comedian and emmy-nominated writer and director. his third netflix special, "crazy good," premieres april 9th. neal brennan is joining us tonight! [ cheers and applause ] funny, funny man. and we got great music tonight from max! oh, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] "love in stereo" is the album. ooh, this is big. i want to remind everybody the fallon book club spring read is happening right now. [ cheers and applause ] this is a big deal. we got 16 books, okay? these are real books, we got -- we pitted them against each other. we gotta whittle 'em down to the terrific two and then the final -- final winning book that we all vote on, we will read together. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: yeah, i haven't read any of these yet, but this is -- [ cheers and applause ] so, you can go to fallonbookclub.com, or, if you don't feel like typing -- >> steve: right. bleep blorp.

>> jimmy: just bleep blorp this qr code right there on any of your smart device, or whatever. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: takes you right there, you don't have to do anything. then you go right to the bracket, you vote on which book that you heard was good, or which one you want us to read together, and that's what we will read. well, it'll make the elite eight. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: yeah, i wouldn't -- i wouldn't gamble on this stuff. >> steve: you wouldn't? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i would. >> steve: how much? >> yeah, i -- [ light laughter ] but i mean -- >> steve: on fanduel or -- >> jimmy: you twisted my arm there. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: but -- yeah. but -- no, but you never know, 'cause they're all great books. they're different types of books. there's thrillers, mysteries, sci-fi. yeah, so any of these books could win. voting was supposed to end at 11:30 tonight, but just a while ago we got some late breaking news to share -- so far, we've gotten over 350,000 votes. >> steve: oh. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the response has been so overwhelming that we've decided to end the voting deadline by an hour, so now you have until 12:30 a.m., right now, to vote for your favorite book. get your votes in, be sure to tune in tomorrow night when we reveal the elite eight books that advance to the next round. [ cheers and applause ]

stick around, when we come back, "tonight show screengrabs," come on. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> guys, i took a squat, and i couldn't get up. [ laughter ] i was just like -- i was literally like this -- and they're like, "cut. zoe." i'm like, "i need help." >> jimmy: "i can't move." yeah, i got -- i got -- >> i need y'all to come and help.

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♪ don't you ever let me go ♪ ♪ don't you ever let me go ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. welcome back to "the tonight show." it is time for "screengrabs." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ make me wanna screengrab ♪ >> jimmy: now look, these are some weird, funny things that you guys found on the internet, or took a picture of in real life, and then sent in to us. i appreciate this. this first screengrab was sent in by jon hubbard in greensboro, north carolina. he was online reading some local news, and spotted this headline here. the headline says, "prototype completes first flight." right? now, look at the picture next to this. [ laughter ] hey, it looks like a successful first launch.

>> steve: daddy! [ applause ] >> jimmy: flying babies. this next screengrab was sent in by beth seebert in detroit. she was shopping online for a a new patio table and spotted this one. looks pretty good. nice table there. can we zoom in? it says, "two patio folding chairs comes with a glass table which makes convenience for you to place your stuff when you're chatting with your friends or lover." >> steve: ooh. [ laughter ] wow. sell me this pen. >> jimmy: wow, that's spicy, man. >> steve: yeah, i gotta buy that spicy table. >> jimmy: whoo. that's a spicy patio table. >> steve: yeah, i don't have a a lover, but maybe if i get this -- [ laughter ] whoo. >> jimmy: this next one was sent in by sal dayno in london. it's an article he spotted about mcdonald's. [ light laughter ] mcdonald's -- well -- >> steve: mcdonald's, bruv. >> jimmy: mcdonald's, yeah, it was running a little controversy. [ laughter ] but mcdonald's was running into some trouble over in england. and i guess you can see why. it says it's going to remove a a mccrispy sign. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: yeah, after it was placed next to a crematorium. [ laughter ]

>> steve: come on. come on. [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's a mistake. >> steve: that's where you draw the line. that guy got burned. >> jimmy: tasted like grandma used to make. >> steve: yeah, mm. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: used to make. tastes like grandma used to make. [ laughter ] >> steve: it doesn't taste like grandma, yeah. >> jimmy: can you imagine that? that's great. >> steve: how much is that urn? >> jimmy: i love it. [ laughter ] this next one was sent in by teri hutson in portland, maine. oh, i love maine. she was shopping for some potty-training charts for her 2-year-old son. >> steve: charts? [ laughter ] what is that like? >> jimmy: no, chart, potty-training charts. >> steve: charts. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, you know you're growing up -- >> steve: you didn't do a good job with a shart, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah, like, when are you growing up? you got your -- you got the charts? [ laughter ] and you got to learn how to potty train. >> steve: i don't think i got this potty-training thing down. >> jimmy: no, that's right, yeah. >> steve: i just charted my pants. [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: she was shopping for some potty-training -- >> steve: things. >> jimmy: things. >> steve: sure, let's see what it is. >> jimmy: for her 2-year-old son. she found this. this looks pretty nice actually. look at this one here. here's the best part. can you zoom in? the kid's holding a razor. [ laughter ] >> steve: don't tase me, bro. >> jimmy: takes a long chart, and then he shaves, and goes to work. [ laughter ] >> steve: "i'm done. mom!" >> jimmy: "mom, my car is broken. you got to pick me up." >> steve: -- a flush toilet. >> jimmy: "i hate driving that piece of junk." >> steve: "call roto-rooter." >> jimmy: "i'm hungover, i don't want to go to --" guys, the next one was sent in by david kenward in kernersville, north carolina. he was shopping online for some long underwear. >> steve: really? uh-oh. >> jimmy: no, no, it's not even what you think, but look at the photo of this model of this underwear. men's thermal underwear. take a look at this. [ laughter ] that's the way you do it. that's what napoleon would do. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: that's -- napoleon

would do that with his underwear. >> steve: yeah. napoleon bonerpants, yeah. >> jimmy: napoleon bonerpants? >> steve: yes, that's what you said, didn't you? >> jimmy: no, bonaparte. >> steve: oh, bonaparte. >> jimmy: bonaparte. >> steve: bonerpart. >> jimmy: yeah, not napoleon bonerpants. >> steve: napoleon bonerpart. >> jimmy: never heard -- >> steve: that guy sharted. [ laughter ] his weren't blue. >> jimmy: this next one was sent in by dave ringle in lexington, kentucky. he was at a pizza hut drive-thru, okay, but the system was having little issues here. so i think this is kind of genius. look at this. it says, "holler 'ding dong' for help. bell is broken." [ laughter and applause ] that's fantastic. "holler 'ding dong.'" "ding dong." >> steve: "-- bell is broke!" >> jimmy: "i need my breadsticks." guys, unfortunately, we're down to our last one. >> steve: aw. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: sorry. we got to go. we have a big show. we have things to get to, and we can't be doing this all-night having fun. >> steve: why not? >> jimmy: we got serious business to do. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: this one is from

mike halloran in washington state. this is an ad he saw for a a local book signing. and he says the author looks like me. i don't know if i see it but take a look at this. [ laughter ] that doesn't look like me. frank mckinney? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: that doesn't look like me. >> steve: altered your own dna. [ laughter ] wow. >> jimmy: let me see if this looks like me. hold on a second. ♪ [ scattered cheers ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: that's all the time we have for "screengrabs." if you have a funny screengrab, email it to us at screengrabs@tonightshow.com. we might put it on the show. stick around. we'll be right back with zoe saldana, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> he's a 3 1/2-year-old boy, so it's just a lot of roughhousing. >> jimmy: yeah, i love that. >> so, if -- they could be in the worst mood, if you just pick them up and flip them over -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's it. >> that's it. >> jimmy: that's all you need to do. >> that's -- that's cocaine. >> jimmy: they love it. >> that's their cocaine.

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in theaters april 12th. everyone, please welcome zoe saldana. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. >> it's good to be back. >> jimmy: you look fantastic. how you doing? everything good? >> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, how was traffic getting in with the president here? >> it was fine for me. like, i'm a native new yorker, so any chance i get to come to new york, even if it's just for like 26 hours, i'm so grateful. >> jimmy: you love it. yeah, welcome back. welcome home. welcome home. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: last time we -- we -- we chatted it was right before "avatar: way of the water" was coming out. and obviously the movie did pretty well. >> it did, right? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. it made, by the way -- it made, i don't know if you heard this, over $2 billion. $2 billion. >> yeah.

>> jimmy: congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: well done. on top of that, you became the first, and only actor, to have four movies -- this is four movies to make over $2 billion at the box office. [ cheers and applause ] you're the first actor. this is insane. i mean -- >> it never gets old. i'm pinching myself. i do believe that half of it was luck. had i planned this, i don't think the outcome would have been this way. >> jimmy: no, my gosh. >> jimmy: no, no, no, no, no. >> jimmy: but this is the biggest thing in the world. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: what do you think when you see that headline? you go, "oh, wow, that's wild. these are just projects i worked hard on, and they became the biggest things in the world." >> yeah. >> jimmy: "avengers" and everything you've done. >> yeah. and -- and -- and here's what's interesting is that it's -- they were -- they were created, written, and directed by kids, by people that were probably, you know, bullied when they were younger and considered nerds. now i just had an incident at my kid's school where somebody called him a nerd.

and i just looked at him, and i was like, "then you turn around and you say, 'thank you.'" >> jimmy: wow. >> just say thank you. he goes, "why?" [ applause ] i'm like, "'cause you're smart." >> jimmy: yeah. because nerds are gonna rule the world. >> and they do get pretty girls too, sometimes. [ laughter ] sometimes. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, you do. sometimes. yeah, they do, yeah. was -- was there ever a moment in your career where you go, "i made it?" >> yes, yes. when i was 19, i booked a a burger king commercial. >> jimmy: wow. >> and it was like -- >> jimmy: that is a big deal. >> it -- but it -- i didn't think it was a big deal, but when i came home after shooting it, my family, they were all waiting for me outside. and like, when you're from jackson heights, like, it's a -- you live, like, in a a building. you know, and one block is filled with like six buildings. they were all outside. and they had called the neighbors. and i'm like, "guys, stop." they called everybody in the caribbean. [ laughter ] like, "she's in a burger king commercial. she's eating this french fry. and they're singing this song." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: everyone knew. [ applause ] it was a worldwide phenomenon. fans of zoe saldana.

yeah, that's pretty wild. >> and i felt like, "i think i'm gonna go places after this." you know? >> jimmy: yeah. >> it was -- it was fun. >> jimmy: 19 in a burger king spot. what was the spot? what were you doing? >> i was just eating a french fry. it was really stale and cold. but i made it seem like it was the most delicious french fry. >> jimmy: yeah, that's what acting is, yeah. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: well, we actually knew that you were coming on the show, and we found this commercial. i wanted to show everybody. >> no. >> jimmy: here's zoe saldana in a burger king commercial. >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: take a look at this. >> stop. ♪ just the two of us we can make it if we try ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ just the two of us just you and i ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ that's a standing ovation, come on. >> thank you. >> jimmy: that's what i'm -- that's what i'm talk -- see, that's what -- [ cheers and applause ] that's your big break. >> genius, right? >> jimmy: that's our zoe. >> but it was a big break, because i got my sag card -- >> jimmy: see. >> -- from the commercial. >> jimmy: that's a -- yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: those are great. i remember that spot, by the way? that's awesome. >> you do? >> jimmy: yeah. >> you're lying.

>> jimmy: i remember that bill withers song. that was a whole campaign. "just the two of us." >> you remember -- >> jimmy: i do. >> -- that french fry eating burger king commercial. >> jimmy: i remember the "just the two of us" and two hamburgers. >> oh, my god. and you remember the special. you're like, "two for a buck or --" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, like, "that girl eating the fries, those fries look so good. i gotta get over there. [ laughter ] i gotta go over there, yeah, to figure these french fries out. you posted this and everyone went nuts on the internet. >> yes. >> jimmy: i'm assuming this is "avatar 3." >> yes. we shot two and three. we started shooting in 2017. and it's, you know, two already came out, and three, it's still like an ongoing thing where jim will come back and he will continuously work on it, because it's just the technology requires so much time. >> jimmy: i love -- jim cameron, james cameron is -- >> he's a -- he's amazing. >> jimmy: he's amazing. >> he's a scientist, i'm telling you. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but -- but they did, they called me back in january, but out of nowhere. and they're like, "we just have some pickup shots. can you please come in." i was like, "okay." he's like, "it's super, you know, no hassle. it's just little close-ups."

and all of a sudden, they're like, "hey, so now this shot is you on your ikran." the ikran is my dragon that i ride. and i'm like, "are you kidding me?" like, i haven't gone to the gym in like -- [ light laughter ] and they're like, "oh, it's going to be fine. it's super easy." guys, i took a squat, and i couldn't get up. [ laughter ] i was just like -- i was literally like this -- and they're like, "cut. zoe." i'm like, "i need help." >> jimmy: "i can't move." yeah, i got -- i got -- [ laughter ] >> i need y'all to come and help me. >> jimmy: "can we -- can we do one more?" yeah, exactly. "what's the next scene? is my character like this." yeah. >> i couldn't do it. >> jimmy: i did the ride. have you done the ride? >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: you did do the ride? >> yes, in disney world. it was amazing. >> jimmy: wait, i would freak out to do the ride with you if you were in disney. >> we should do it. >> jimmy: it's -- >> and like the mist and everything. >> jimmy: you're on this -- yeah, you're -- you're sitting on the dragon thing. and you're going through, and then the machine starts breathing. >> yes. >> jimmy: and i go, "this is the most craziest ride ever." >> it's insane. >> jimmy: you did it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's so cool of you. you're awesome. >> i want to go back. >> jimmy: yeah. but let's talk about this movie you're here to talk about tonight -- >> yes. >> jimmy: -- "the absence of eden." you star in, you produce it, and your husband directed, and

co-wrote this. wow. that's a family affair. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: a lot of work. >> i'm -- i'm really proud of him. my husband, you know, he's been living here from italy for almost two decades. became a citizen, got married here, started a family. and the whole conversation around immigration just as time goes by, we just become more and more aware of how complex it is. and i guess that his desire to jump into my medium of art, and to make a film about it just was the natural course for him in terms of, like, how he's reconciling what this means to him. and, you know, in italy, in 2015, i believe 714 children died, lost their lives crossing from syria to italy. and this is all happening while my husband was sort of welcoming his sons. so that affected him, and he created this amazing conceptual piece that -- of 714 shoes. and he filled them up with

cement, and he sold it to the rennie collection. it's this -- bob rennie is this huge collector in vancouver. and after that, the continuation of that conversation was just a story. he wrote esmeralda, my character, with me in mind. and obviously, i want to support him, but i didn't have a choice, you know? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i mean, of course. >> but i have a great level of respect for marco and what he does. he's an exceptional art -- artist. i feel like i work in art. marco makes art. like he is art, you know? >> jimmy: yeah. i got to meet him backstage. and i was like, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but also, it's -- so much work goes into this. he's so proud of this. >> yes. >> jimmy: is it -- is it the first time you guys are working together? >> first time. i mean, i feel like we are working together having three boys. [ laughter ] it is really a labor of love. >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely, by the way. it is a job. it is a big job. [ applause ] that is working. three boys? >> yeah. >> jimmy: three boys? yeah. >> they're so delicious, but it's like -- it's like marco says, "our home is like -- our life is like a big wonderful disaster." it's so great. but, yeah, he wrote this, and it was -- it was great to just see him, like, build a a playground of his own, and be so happy, you know?

>> jimmy: yeah. >> and, yes, it was a very heavy subject. he dedicated the film to my grandmother who arrived -- who was our matriarch. and she, you know, lost her life in 2019. she lost her battle with cancer a month before we started shooting the movie. but she was his biggest champion. my biggest enabler. all of ours. and this film is dedicated to her, because thanks to her when she arrived here in 1 1961, running away from a a dictatorship from dominican republic. new york, america, opened its doors to her, and she was able to manifest her dreams. and part of that, was providing a better life for her children. and here i am, a fruit of that labor. >> jimmy: yeah. >> a product of -- of her sacrifices. and i'm always grateful. but always very well aware that that conversation around immigration is not as simple. and it's not as easy and as glorious for everybody. and all we wanted to do was just remind people that it is about humanity. that these are people, whether we agree as to why they're crossing any border, these are women, and children, and fathers, and sons, and disabled

people, and doctors, and scientists. they're not just, you know, service providers. and we just need to have -- we need to make more space to understand the human side of this complex subject. >> jimmy: let's keep the conversation going. [ cheers and applause ] >> yes. >> jimmy: great -- great for you. >> yes. thank you. >> jimmy: you got someone rooting for you up there. yeah. i want to show everyone a clip. here's zoe saldana in "the absence of eden." take a look at this. >> we come here, plant your seeds with our dirty hands, and then we help them grow while you get to put your feet up. your crops, your children, your future. we make it all grow, and what do you do? you just take, and take, and take, and take, and take, and take!

you take because you're empty. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: fantastic. zoe saldana, everyone. "the absence of eden" is in theaters april 12th. [ cheers and applause ] neal brennan joins us, after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (luke) so... i hear some of you are concerned about the fact that i'm taking over the company. well, rest assured, company's in great hands. marci, hit the vid'. (both lukes) homes-dot-com. we've done your home work. (luke) now, that is worth celebrating! (brad) i love it. (luke) thank you. (brad) home...work... very clever.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a very funny comedian and emmy-nominated writer and director. his third netflix special, "crazy good," premieres april 9th. please welcome neal brennan. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: that's neal brennan right there. not bad. >> jimmy, i wanted to establish up front that i'm the worst. >> jimmy: no, no, that is not true. neal brennan, welcome back to "the tonight show." it's great to see you. >> thank you for having me. i watched last night, and -- >> jimmy: oh, you saw? >> -- jerry seinfeld was on. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and you asked him if he danced ever. >> jimmy: yes.

>> he was like, like, "yeah, i used to." i've danced with jerry seinfeld. >> jimmy: wait, you -- >> and he's -- yeah, he's pretty good. >> jimmy: you danced with jerry? >> i danced jerry sein -- with jerry seinfeld. we were -- it was a party. it wasn't just like we were hanging out dancing. [ laughter ] and there was disco music playing. give me a little disco. [ disco music ] ♪ and we're dancing. and i go, "can you believe that people don't think two comedians could dance?" i go, "our whole job is rhythm." and he goes, "rhythm and tone." [ laughter ] and then i go -- i go, "you really love disco, huh?" and he goes, "i love disco. 'don't rock the boat, baby.'" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no way. >> yeah. >> jimmy: not bad. >> pretty great. pretty great. >> jimmy: i like "don't rock the boat, baby." [ cheers and applause ] >> pretty great. >> jimmy: i gotta ask jerry about that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you look good, buddy. what's going on? what's new with you? >> jimmy, i -- i have a a girlfriend. >> jimmy: you do? [ scattered cheers ] >> yeah. thank you so much. >> jimmy: this -- is this -- is

this -- [ cheers and applause ] wait, is it serious -- is it serious? >> this -- i -- jimmy, i think this might be my forever lady. >> jimmy: whoa. [ audience oohs ] ♪ forever lady ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that a song? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and she's got a a 3 1/2-year-old -- >> jimmy: whew. >> yeah, so i'm like -- you know, i'm kind of a hero. [ laughter ] and -- >> jimmy: what? what? >> and -- yeah, i'm a -- i'm an ally to sing -- >> jimmy: yes. >> -- to the single mothers everywhere, and the kid -- i've never really dealt with kids before. they're very cute. >> jimmy: yeah. i think you'll be great. >> but they're kind of pains in the butt. >> jimmy: yes. >> like it's pretty, like, brutal work. it's just like a lot of, like, slicing oranges. >> jimmy: yes. >> like, you just have to, like, pick up socks. and, like, i'm -- i'm cleaning up toys. and i'm -- it's, like, kind of humiliating, you know what i mean? [ laughter ] and they know -- but they know how cute they are, 'cause i'll be like, "i'm -- i'm not doing this for another day. like i am leaving this

relationship." and then the kid will kiss me on the cheek, and i'll be like, "all right, ten more years." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's all you -- that's all you need. >> but after that, i am done. >> jimmy: yeah. what fun things are you doing with him? >> i -- he's a 3 1/2-year-old boy, so it's just a lot of roughhousing. >> jimmy: yeah, i love that. >> so, if -- they could be in the worst mood, if you just pick them up and flip them over -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's it. >> that's it. >> jimmy: that's all you need to do. >> that's -- that's cocaine. >> jimmy: they love it. >> that's their cocaine. [ laughter ] it really -- it's unbelievable. they just like use -- "a-ha-ha-ha," it's amazing. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah -- >> which, don't you wish adults were like that? [ laughter ] like -- >> jimmy: just go up to each other. >> yeah, if somebody from nbc was like, "look, we're not happy with the show --" >> jimmy: yeah. >> -- "and you're really dropping the ball." and you could just pick them up and flip them over. and they're like, "a-ha-ha-ha, we love the show. put us down." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'll think about that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i might do that next meeting. >> and then they'll be like, "do it again." >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] how long have you been dating

your girlfriend? >> jimmy, it's been over a a year. and -- ♪ she's my forever lady ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think you're confusing two songs. >> i think i am too. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but you should write "forever lady" and release it. >> i -- i -- of course. >> jimmy: yeah, the audience love -- we would love to see that, neal brennan singing "forever lady." >> guys -- [ cheers and applause ] we've been together for -- hey, does your wife -- is she kind of obsessed with the murder podcast and the murder -- >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. yes, murder everything. >> -- documentaries. >> jimmy: yes. we watch -- >> and then women complain that they can't sleep. we're like, "wonder why?" [ light laughter ] and -- >> jimmy: loves those. >> but i think that they're convinced that all men want to murder them a little bit. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you think so? >> like, i don't want to murder any -- do you want to murder any women? >> jimmy: no. >> roots? >> tariq: nope. [ laughter ] >> you know what, now it seems suspicious. [ laughter ] it seems kind of suspicious now. >> jimmy: do you feel -- >> like, we need to get our stories straight. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, i definitely don't --

i don't even have a -- >> no, i don't want to murder anybody. >> jimmy: no, you don't. no. >> but i think women are wound a little tight. and you know why i say women are wound a little tight. >> jimmy: yeah. >> because i've never heard a a guy go -- [ gasps ] -- in my entire life. [ laughter ] [ gasps ] ever. think about it. [ gasps ] ever. i've never heard a guy -- george bush, 9/11, they knocked down the twin towers, he sat there like a dummy 'cause he knew if he went -- [ gasps ] -- the whole country's done. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] he's gotta think quick. >> yeah. so he just sat there like -- yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, so he just sat there. yeah, don't go -- [ gasps ] >> i don't think i could ever convince my lady that i -- that i -- that i'm not going to murder her. i really don't. especially not with this thing, like, "we need to get our story straight." >> jimmy: yeah, especially if she sees the show tonight. >> yeah. no, i don't think i'll ever convince her. like, i feel like i can marry her, have kids with her, they have kids, we're grandparents, we renew our vows, end of life plan, do not resuscitate. i feel like -- [ light laughter ] if she -- [ laughter ] if she -- i -- >> jimmy: you're really thinking ahead here, yeah. >> i -- i -- i really mapped it out. i feel like if she gets sick before me, and she's like, "baby, it's time, pull the plug." and i'm like, "i don't want to, baby.

you're my whole life." she's like, "it's what we agreed to." i'll be like, "okay, i'll do it, but only 'cause you told me to." the minute i pull the plug, with her last breath, she's gonna be like, "i always knew you wanted to murder me." [ mimicking vital signs monitor ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: always knew that'd be the last word. you got a couple of big things going on now. you have a fantastic podcast -- >> i sure -- >> jimmy: -- called "blocks." >> i sure do. >> jimmy: "blocks" with neal brennan. >> yep. >> jimmy: it's very funny. >> i would love to have you on. >> jimmy: wherever you listen to podcasts -- i'd love to come on and talk. >> i would love it. let's do it. >> jimmy: you have a -- you have a brand-new special -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: -- called "crazy good" on netflix. >> mm-hm. >> jimmy: cra -- it premieres april 9th. we've known each other for a a long time. >> 25 years. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. which is weird, 'cause we're so young. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, we are. >> guys, we're like basically influencers. like -- [ laughter ] "like, we only want to do brand deals and sick collabs." >> jimmy: "yeah." [ laughter ] "this is vintage, but it's new to me."

[ light laughter ] >> "my girlfriend told me that my tongue looks like a dog penis." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're -- she's kind of -- she's kind of right. yeah. [ laughter ] not bad. >> i've known each other -- we've known you for 25 years. i knew you before google. can you believe that? >> jimmy: did -- that's right. >> yeah, i knew you before google. i have a google announcement to make. hey, you know they can use our google searches in court 'cause a -- a woman recently faked a a kidnapping, and then they checked her google searches, and she was searching for stuff like, "will they give you an amber alert if your name is not amber?" like, you gotta be careful -- [ laughter ] -- with the searches. i don't -- i'm kind of afraid of the algorithm, but at the same time, i find it more annoying. 'cause, like, about a month ago, i searched -- i wanted, like, a gray jacket, so i googled gray jacket. and then i was coming here yesterday, so i googled new york and, of course, google is like, "you know they got gray jackets over there, just

fyi." [ laughter ] google's like a new stepdad who's trying to bond with you. [ light laughter ] and he doesn't know much about you, but he does remember that you said you liked hip-hop one time. [ light laughter ] now he comes into your room every weekend like, "hey, i hear nelly's doing a show later on." [ laughter ] "what's that? get out of your room? no problem for me 'cause 'it's getting hot in here.'" [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: we always love it when you come by. congrats on the special. i want to show a clip. here's neal brennan in "crazy good." take a look at this. >> women's social media is just a lot of beautiful underdogs -- [ laughter ] that's in -- a part of something very dramatic. the entire world's against them. where they'll be like, "when i began my journey --" they're all on journeys, by the way, all of them are on journeys. they're like, "when i began my journey, no one believed in me."

that's what these girls don't understand. it's not that no one believes in you. no one gives a [ bleep ] about anything anyone is doing but themselves. no one's thinking about you. no one's going to bed at night being like, "you know who's never going to open a small business, that bitch jessica. goodnight." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's -- they're like, "no one's --" neal brennan, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "crazy good" premieres april 9th on netflix. more "tonight show," after the break. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ if you're living with hiv, imagine being good to go without daily hiv pills. good to go binge-watch. good to go out even later. with cabenuva, there's no pausing for daily hiv pills. for adults who are undetectable, cabenuva is the only complete, long-acting hiv treatment you can get every other month.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: performing "stupid in love" from his new album "love in stereo," give it up for max! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ beautiful beautiful beautiful ♪ ♪ theres's something about your eyes ♪ ♪ tell me these feelings are mutual ♪ ♪ 'cause feelings are so hard to fight ♪ ♪ know it's a little soon maybe ♪ ♪ but i'd go anywhere you take me ♪ ♪ long as you're calling me baby ♪ ♪ they can all call us crazy ♪ ♪ let's get married in vegas we don't need a guest list ♪ ♪ i don't wanna think too much ♪ ♪ let's get matching tattoos i don't wanna think it through ♪ ♪ baby i'm so stupid in love so stupid in love with you ♪ ♪ and i'm so stupid in love so stupid in love with you ♪

♪ and i'm so stupid in love ♪ ♪ hi, you came feelin' you ♪ ♪ babe i've been waiting for you all day so lean my way my way ♪ ♪ and let me just take away all the pain ♪ ♪ i know it's a bit soon for vows ♪ ♪ paper rings are good for now ♪ ♪ but know i'm already down the aisle ♪ ♪ 'cause i'm so stupid in love ♪ ♪ let's get married in vegas we don't need a guest list ♪ ♪ i don't wanna think too much ♪ ♪ let's get matching tattoos i don't wanna think it through ♪ ♪ baby i'm so stupid in love ♪ ♪ book a flight to paris only one way ♪ ♪ what'd you think about sharing our last name ♪ ♪ let's skip straight to i do i don't want to think it through ♪ ♪ baby i'm so stupid in love so stupid in love with you ♪ ♪ and i'm so stupid in love so stupid in

love with you ♪ ♪ and i'm so stupid in love ♪ ♪ so tell me right now before we come down ♪ ♪ can we make it work baby let's find out ♪ ♪ tell me right now before we come down ♪ ♪ can we make it work baby let's find out ♪ ♪ let's get married in vegas we don't need a guest list ♪ ♪ i don't wanna think too much ♪ ♪ let's get matching tattoos i don't wanna think it through ♪ ♪ baby i'm so stupid in love ♪ ♪ book a flight to paris only one way ♪ ♪ what'd you think about sharing our last name ♪ ♪ let's skip straight to i do i don't want to think it through ♪ ♪ baby i'm so stupid in love so stupid in love with you ♪ ♪ and i'm so stupid in love so stupid in love with you ♪ ♪ and i'm so stupid in love ♪ ♪ stupid in love with you

beautiful beautiful beautiful ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on. that's what i'm talking about. come on, bud. max! that's a bop. "love in stereo" is out now. we'll be right back everybody. yo, that is how you do it. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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makes your tastebuds weep? if it's hillshire farm, oh, hill yeah.™ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to zoe saldana, neal brennan, max, once again! how great was that? [ cheers and applause ]

max. and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for watching. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." good night, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- liam neeson. chat and music from sheryl crow. an all new "closer look." featuring the 8g band with kaz rodriguez. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and now, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." we hope you're doing well.